Unless
by lemonjelly
Summary: “And, Sara...? Will you marry me?” he asks. Sara laughs again. “Don’t push your luck.” WarrickSara


**Disclaimer: They're not mine.**

**Spoilers: None**

**Rating: PG or K+**

**Summary: "And, Sara...? Will you marry me?" he asks. Sara laughs again. "Don't push your luck." WarrickSara**

**It's cliché, I'm sure of it. It's probably predictable. It's fluffy, sort of. So all feedback would be wonderful.**

**Thanks to the reviewers of the WS stand-alone "Visiting And Revisiting." You were nick55, Farola, Kelly, midnightsun (ah – that sort of sucks – poor you!), bene, Juliette7179, Megara1, icklebitodd, Cheryl, MissyJane, Joyce3 (I'm lovin these muffins here) and Review1234 (you can read this when you're back on Sunday!) And you were all wonderful. Many, many thanks. I greatly hope this does not disappoint. Enjoy! Love LJ xXx**

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**Unless**

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Nick ducks under the fluttering yellow police tape and holds it up for Sara to pass underneath after him.

"So hold up a second here, Jim," Nick calls to the detective who's already heading up to the house behind the tape. "It's just a foot?"

Brass turns back to him momentarily. "That's what I said, wasn't it?"

"Right or left?" Nick asks after a pause. Sara arches an eyebrow.

"Does that matter?" she says with a slight smile at Nick's expression.

Nick shrugs his shoulders. "Sure it does – to whoever's missing it." Sara grins – he makes a good point.

"Oh, but I should warn you," Brass begins as he leads the two of them to the kitchen door. "It's a few days old."

His warning comes just as Nick opens the door with his gloved hand at the sickening stench of rotting human flesh hits them. Brass smiles grimly at them and then, covering his nose and mouth, heads quickly back out of the house. Nick peers into the kitchen hesitantly, trying to breathe through his mouth – like it helps. The severed foot, complete with ankle, stands on its own in the middle of the tiled floor surround by a pool of blood complete with drops that lead out through the back door.

"Left." Nick comments, examining the foot. He turns back to Sara with a smile and is surprised to see her looking so pale. "Are you feeling okay?"

She doesn't reply but steps over the pool towards the back door.

"Sara? You okay?"

"No." She answers shortly and snatches up a plastic bag from her kit just in time – she pukes up her entire stomach contents into the bag and then, when there's nothing left, carries on anyway.

Nick only watches with raised eyebrows. "I thought you had a stronger stomach than that, Sar. This is nothing compared to some of the stuff I've seen you process."

"Well yeah," she chokes out, taking in a lungful of the cold, fresh air outside. "But I wasn't pregnant then."

If the vomiting had thrown Nick off, that comment had just catapulted him right out of it. Of everything she might've said, he definitely had not expected that.

"And...and you are now?" he asks slowly.

"I am now." she tells him. He only looks stunned so she adds quietly, "I'm getting an abortion, Nicky. This isn't a long-term thing."

"Who's...who's the father?" Nick shakes himself. Sara smiles wryly, sealing up the bag and clearing her throat, ready to get back to work.

"It was a one-night thing, Nicky. This was never meant to happen. So it won't," she replies, deftly side-stepping the question. "Never mind, right? Just forget it."

Nick looks at her carefully; it certainly seems like that's what she wants to do, so he opens up his kit and gets on with his work like nothing had happened or found out. Easier said than done though. He cannot shake the news and it sits at the front of his mind right up until the end of the day.

Now he's sitting on the edge of the wooden bench in the locker room and not listening to a word Warrick's saying about some TV show he watched last night, or some old friend who called him up lately, or some football game – or something.

"Yo – Nick." Warrick waves a hand in front of Nick's glazed eyes. "You there?"

"Warrick, man," Nick snaps right out of his daze and straight into conversation. "Have you talked to Sara?"

Warrick looks confused. "What? About what?" Nick glances around the empty locker room. After all, she never told him that he couldn't tell anyone else...

"Some complete ass has totally played her, I reckon. Some one-night thing – she didn't say anything more than that, but now she's pregnant." Nick tells his friend in lowered tones. Warrick shuts his locker door – the only sound in the suddenly very silent room.

"She's – she's what?" Warrick repeats, though he heard Nick perfectly well. "I've gotta find her, man."

And before Nick can say anything else, Warrick's out of the door and fast disappearing down the corridor.

-

He finds Sara signing out at the reception desk, already in her coat with her bag on her shoulder. She looks up and offers him a smile as he storms toward her until she sees that look on his face. And he does not look happy.

"Were you planning on telling me at all?" Warrick demands in a low voice as soon as he gets close enough.

"Huh?" Sara signs off on the list and returns the biro to the receptionist with a brief smile before leading Warrick away.

"You know what I'm talking about," Warrick tells her. "Were you just hoping I'd hear it from Nick or were you hoping I'd just not find out at all?"

"I never kept it a secret, Warrick." she answers calmly but it only makes in more incensed.

"So should I make a habit of asking you from time to time if you're pregnant or not?" he asks her, disbelieving. "Or should I ask Nick, seeing as you seem to be choosing to tell him first."

"I didn't tell Nick first," Sara argues back before realising it probably wasn't the best thing to say.

"You what?"

Sara winces slightly. "I told Grissom first. I needed to ask him for some time off."

"Jesus, Sara – couldn't that wait?" Warrick says. "Did I really have to hear it third-hand from someone else?"

"Wait?" Sara repeats. "I'm taking a few days off starting today."

"Starting today?" Warrick double-takes. "I don't...I don't get it." The colour drains from Sara's face; Nick didn't tell him everything.

"I'm – I'm getting an abortion, Warrick." she murmurs. His own face pales now. He blinks. He opens his mouth but he says nothing – just looks at her. "I'm sorry," she whispers, seeing the heartbreak tighten on his face. "I should've told you first." And she turns to go.

"No wait," he finds his voice; it comes out constricted and pained. "This is mine, isn't it? I mean – it's ours, right?"

She smiles slightly. "I don't make one-night stands a regular thing."

Warrick flinches. "We agreed that it wasn't..."

"Oh no, I know," she cuts him off hurriedly. "It was both of us – I wasn't blaming you or anything. We both agreed, I know that. Although this doesn't exactly constitute not talking about it ever again..."

"Yeah, well I didn't count on this when I agreed not to talk about it again," he replies bitterly.

"Neither did I." she answers. The silence that follows this tells Sara that the conversation's over so she turns to leave again but, once again, he catches her.

"Keep it." he blurts out.

"What?"

"Keep it," he repeats, pleadingly. "Please. Keep the baby."

"What? Can you even hear yourself?" she asks in scepticism.

"Yes – and I know it sounds crazy but you don't want to do this, believe me." Warrick urges earnestly.

Sara raises an eyebrow. "And now you're telling me what I want?"

"Please, Sara. This isn't the easy way out; it will follow you for the rest of your life. It isn't just a throwaway decision – this is a really big thing," he tells her, taking her by the shoulders.

"Yeah, I got that, Warrick." Sara retorts. "Which is why I want out. This is beyond ridiculous. I really can't do it."

"Then I'll look after it," he attempts. "Please – just don't go through with this. Don't kill it just because you're scared..."

"I'm not scared," she hisses, noticing the unwanted attention they seem to be drawing. "I'm sane – which is more than I can say for you right now."

"Please Sara." he begs.

"Look, Warrick, I'm sorry. I really am. But this wasn't meant to happen," Sara tells him firmly. "And at the end of the day, it's my body, my life – my decision."

He looks at her helplessly. "Our baby." he says quietly. She recoils slightly at the B-word. She'd gotten away with avoiding the gravity of the situation with cold, scientific terms: 'embryo' or 'foetus' or even just 'it' – that worked fine. 'Baby' made it far too real.

"I'm scheduled in at the clinic in a few hours. I'm sorry." is all she says before she turns once more and leaves. He doesn't try to stop her this time, the third time. This time he lets her go and all the words he wants to shout after her can't pass the lump in his throat.

-

Nick looks across the table at Warrick and sighs. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't know it was yours." he says. "But she has a point – it will be her who'll have to do the whole pregnancy thing. If she doesn't want to go through with that, there's really not much you can do to change that."

"Nick – how much better do you think this is making me feel right now?" Warrick retorts dully, head sunken in his arms on the table.

"Sorry, man." Nick mumbles. "Just trying to help."

"Don't bother." comes Warrick's deadpan reply. He glances at his watch. "You know – she's there right now..."

"Try not to think of it," Nick tries optimistically, realising how pathetic that sounds only after it leaves his mouth.

"I just always thought that with Sara..." he trails off. Nick leans forwards.

"With Sara what?"

"I thought that with Sara it could've worked one day." Warrick finishes heavily. He smiles a cracked smile at Nick and then bites down on his lip as he sinks his head back into the tabletop.

"Go home." Nick tells him. "Shift's over – don't hang around here, beating yourself up over it. Go home, sleep, eat, watch TV – anything."

Warrick looks up. "Right – you're right. I should just...get over it." he mutters, resigned. He drags himself to his feet and trudges out to his car for the longest drive home he's ever taken.

Was he stupid for believing that some day they might've got it together and stopped running around each other? After their one-night thing that had happened after a lot of tequila shots, they'd woken up realising that there wasn't that usual sinking feeling of regret in the morning light. It had been different with each other, that was for sure. The only reason they made their pact not to speak of it again was for work. Work. That would always be what jostled for space in both their lives. What would it be like at work? If things between them fell apart – how would that affect their work? And what would everyone at work say?

Of course, he smiles sourly at the windscreen as he grips the steering wheel tighter than he needs to, that was before all this happened. He would've given up the work thing without a second thought if he'd known then. He would've stopped putting work above people he loved if he'd known then. He would've told her...he would've told her. If he'd known. He sighs again. If only he'd known.

But as he pulls his car into his driveway, he notices the familiar figure sitting on his veranda steps. Sara sits on the top wooden step, elbows on her knees, huddled up. She looks up blankly when his car pulls in and when he jumps out to sit beside her but turns back to the bottle of mineral water in her hands, picking, picking away at the label. It's already in shreds.

"I think I'd be chain-smoking right now if I wasn't pregnant." she kids lightly with a weak smile at Warrick when he looks questioningly at the tattered water bottle label. He doesn't say anything, worried that anything he might say would shatter this fragile moment, the decision resting in a precariously teetering balance.

"I couldn't do it." she confesses, not looking at him but still concentrating on peeling back the label. "I – I couldn't do it. I went in there and the sonographer took an ultrasound to check up on everything and...and I realised – I just couldn't do it. You should've seen our...There was this...heartbeat – on the screen. And it was so small."

She laughs slightly. "I guess you were right, huh?"

Warrick reaches for her hand and squeezes it. It's surprisingly cold.

"You know, I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing." she says, finally. "This is crazy. I never thought..."

"It's the right decision." he tells her, firmly. "Trust me on this. This is the right decision. Didn't you ever see yourself one day having kids?"

"Not this way." she replies shortly.

"Not...with me?" he asks her. Sara looks at him.

"I didn't say that," she says. "I never said that."

"It's okay – if that's what you feel then that's okay..."

"I guess I never thought about who with," she cuts him off, mid-rejection. "So I guess that sort of leaves it open."

He nods and stares out across his road in twilight.

"Come inside." he says suddenly.

"Warrick, if this doesn't work out," Sara voices the unspoken concern. "Then everything at the lab is gonna be really tough – I mean, we won't..."

"Screw the lab," he interrupts. Sara blinks.

"I'm serious," he says. "I really couldn't care less about work right now – not with all this going on." He smiles at her slightly taken aback expression and draws her into a hug. "I think it was that morning, after you'd gone home, that I realised I'd let go of another opportunity to tell someone that I loved them, all because I kept putting work ahead of everything else."

"To tell someone what?" she asks, uncertainly.

"I – I love you." he says.

"Please don't ever say that to me again." she tells him. "And please, _please_, don't ask me to marry you or anything like that. Warrick – I know you're a gentleman and that's lovely. I know you think you're doing the honourable thing and that's great. But this is not how I wanted to end up in my life. I don't want to tie you down with that – this isn't fair on you, on me and it isn't fair on the baby. Believe me, no parents is better than parents who can't stand each other. I never wanted to be one of those women who have some guy marrying them because he felt bad after knocking them up."

He winces slightly. He'd thought it might've been a little bit more than that.

"Ouch." he mutters with a wounded smile. Sara's face falls.

"You were serious, weren't you?" she realises. "You weren't just...saying it. Were you?"

"How long have you known me?" he asks her without waiting for an answer. "Do you think that after all this time we still bother with formalities around each other?"

She laughs. "No. We really don't."

"I meant it," he confirms, hugging her tighter. "And I'm sorry I never got around to telling you earlier, when you might have actually believed me."

Sara slips her hands inside his jacket where they might be warmer against his chest.

"You're freezing – come inside," he starts, feeling her cold fingers through his t-shirt.

"You know what's gonna happen now, don't you?" she murmurs, not hearing what he last said.

"You're gonna come inside with me?" Warrick suggests with a grin. She looks up at him with a pained look in her eyes and he quickly drops the jokey tone.

"We're gonna have this baby and he or she is going to be just so beautiful and perfect," she begins. "But everytime you look at us together – everytime you look at me – you'll think of how we might've not had all that just because of me."

Warrick's eyes widen at her words.

"It's okay," Sara assures him quickly. "I wouldn't blame you – that's just how it will be."

"Sara – Sara," he presses kisses to her neck, her cheek, her temple. "I can't say what things will be in the future, but I can tell you, doubtlessly, that I will never be thinking of that when I look at you."

"It's really okay," she puts on a smile. "It's fair enough. I'd hate me for it, too."

"Hate you?" he repeats, incredulous. "Sara – can _you _hear yourself, here? I promise you – I'll only be wondering how I ended up as the luckiest guy alive. Now will you please come inside and stay – forever?"

Sara laughs and nods, getting to her feet with him. "I love you." she says in a whisper. Warrick grins.

"So I can say it now?" he asks, to which she only smiles and slips her arms around his waist. "I'll take that as a yes, then. I love you, too."

"I'll start shifting my stuff at the weekend," she replies.

"Great – I'll give you a hand with that," he says, opening the front door for her before he pauses in the doorway. "And, Sara?"

"Yes?" she turns to see him lingering in the porch.

"Will you marry me?" he asks. Sara laughs again.

"Don't push your luck." she answers with a grin and pulls him inside, shutting the door behind them.

- o -


End file.
